We will seek Him & LIVE!

I always thought being engaged would feel just like dating... um, dead wrong.  Over the past 3 months I have grown & matured, Sam has grown & matured, we have grown and matured as a couple.  We are not on a wedding-high, where everything is blissfully perfect.  Um, no.  This is such a sweet season, but it can get stressful as it is woven in with the season of ending the college chapter of my life & in with the season of figuring out what life looks like postgrad.  The growing up - oh let's start a life together- let's share our money - where are we gonna live - whats our next career moves - learning how to be a spouse rather than a boy/girlfriend- stuff is stressful at times but it is so much fun!!  My heart has been twisted, turned, and stretched in ways I have never experienced over the past three months & I am so excited to feel my heart experience new things.  Sam & I are leaning FULLY on the Lord and trusting that He is doing big things in our hearts to prepare us for this life as one flesh. 

Sam & I are currently out of limbo.  For a couple of months we had no clue what life looked like after May 25th.  We didn't know what city we were gonna live in, we didn't know what he was going to do job wise, we didn't know if graduate school was going to work out for me & if so, where?  We were in serious limbo & it was weighing heavily on both of our hearts.  However, the Lord is good.. just so good.  No, it is not the plan we had for ourselves, it is slightly different.  But we love the new plan. 

"This is what the Lord said to the house of Israel:  SEEK HIM & LIVE!"

Amos 5:4

In lighter news, Sam & I have booked the honeymoon.  The Scott newlyweds will be spending their week together in the Dominican Republic!  I am so excited & already trying to plan out my outfits!  Sam & I are also taking a financial class to help up budget our money as we are still just two kids in love with different views of the value of a dollar.  We have found the outfits for our wedding party, finally.  We are currently working on designing our invitations with my sister & her talented boyfriend.  Spring break is next week for NCSU, so my mama & I will be working of flowers and decorations.  

85 days to go, people.  85 sweet days to go.

The Hitchin' Post - Registering

Colby & I had our first registering experience this past weekend.  We grabbed a last minute supper with his family beforehand so we ended up rolling into Bed, Bath & Beyond an hour before it closed.  The consultant was helpful & informative.  He told us to take each room at a time, so with about 30 minutes to spare, Colby & I went to the kitchen area.

We had no idea what we were doing.   This was part of the conversation::

Courtney - "Ohh! I like these, Colby."

[SCAN]

Colby - "Nah, these over here look good.  But whatever you want, you'll be using them the most. :)"

Courtney - "Nevermind, I like those pretty good actually."

[SCAN]

Colby - "Babe, look at these over here."

Courtney - "Ahh, I like those too!"

[SCAN]

With at least 3 different sets of cookware.. we decided we needed to do some research and then delete all the sets that we didn't want from the registry online.  As we continued to go through kitchen basics, such as knives and coffee makers, I felt like such a snob.  I kept telling Colby to scan the cheaper items because I didn't want our friends and family to pay for the price of the things that we really wanted.  Colby kept assuring me that this is our only time ever to register, to ask for the things we really want.  He told me that some of friends and family will not want to spend that kind of money on a coffee maker or a pairing knife, which we totally get, but some of them will see this as an opportunity to serve us in this marriage.

Regardless of what our family & friends buy.. whether it be that precious cow creamer pourer thing or that red dutch oven... they are making an investment in our future & therefore we are thankful.

We are planning to finish up our registering adventures this weekend.  We'll finish up at BB&B, head over to Pottery Barn and maybe one other place... suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

I never thought registering would be a tricky thing for my heart, but it is.  It plays on the fine line of greed & humility.  Registering helps me see my greed & selfishness of wanting more, wanting the best.  With that little scanner so readily available, it is easy to look past of the basic & necessities. Registering is humbling experience in that we we don't have all these material things to be content.  We have Jesus.  My favorite scripture is Psalm 55:22 -- "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will SUSTAIN you..." SUSTAIN - He will meet requirements necessary for living, we need nothing else.  That's amazing to me.  So when Colby & I register, we hope that if we are gifted with these material gifts that we will in return serve the Lord & serve our neighbors with those gifts. 

The Hitchin' Post - Wedding Dress

Let's kick off this series y'all with a story about a little white dress.  Okay, so going into this process I knew I wanted one thing, lace.  I was WIDE open about trying any dress on that any consultant or my mama & sister pulled.  There have been several occasions where Ashley or Mama have made me try on a dress, shirt, pants, what have you, that I absolutely hated & then leaving the store with them because I couldn't do without 'em!  So again, I was wide open.  

One Sunday night, Mama, Ashley & I were running errands in Winston & we thought we could tackle our first round of trying on dresses.  (During my Christmas break I wanted to knock out A TON of the bigger things for the wedding, but the wedding dress was the top priority for checking off).  We went into David's Bridal & was greeted with plenty of loud, cheesy congratulations.  They were so sweet & we jumped right into it.  I met with my consultant, who I still don't know her name... Im thinking her name was Ashley, but Mama & I thought she looked like Kate Winslet, so we kept referring to her as Kate.  I told Kate a couple style options and she brought me three dresses.

Side note:  Plenty of former brides kept telling me.  "You'll know it when you put it on"  "You will have no doubts"  "There's only THE one"  "Courtney, seriously, you'll know first thing"

I'm just going to say that I don't totally agree with that.  Every. Single. Dress I tried on was beautiful & there were several that I absolutely LOVED.  What it came down to.. what am I most comfortable in? what did I want the whole day to look like?  now did this dress match that?  could I get my groove thing on in this dress? would I feel beautiful in this dress even if my hair & make up looked like crap?  I tried on plenty of dramatic dresses, that were seriously gorgeous, but they really did not match the theme or look of the day I was going for.  If I was going for a more extravagant wedding, I wouldn't have picked the dress I did.  Simple, southern charm is what I was going for.. & that is exactly what I got.

Okay, so we try on about 8-10 dresses at David's.. including the one.  The next day, Mama & I tried two other places in Burlington & Greenboro.  Long story short - it just was not the greatest experience, so let's move on.

 

Later that week or maybe that next weekend... my days are running together... Mom & I went to another place in Lexington & I found two dresses I really loved.  Also, this place was on Courtney Street, so naturally I thought "Yep, it's gonna be here".  On the way home from Lexington, Mom & I were chatting about the two dresses & I pretty much decided I wanted one of those two.  I guess Mom saw me still debating my decision & mentioned that we should try David's one more time to at least rule out all of those first dresses we tried on.  I was exhausted already but I knew she was right.  So once we got to David's, they pulled the three dresses I asked to keep in my "wishlist" & I tried them all on again.  I tried on the one last.  I was exhausted & I was like "Mom, do I even like this dress?  Is it too much this?  Does it not enough that?  Blah Blah Blah".  Mom told me that I was too tired to be trying on dresses and making this kind of decision without my full force energy.  I rebutted with "Nope.  I don't think so, I don't think I want this dress.  Ma'am, do you mind putting this dress back on the racks & off my wishlist?  I don't think that is the one".  Mom immediately told the consultant to keep everything on the wishlist & that we would come back tomorrow, after a full night's rest & full pot of coffee.

Praise the Lord for giving me a mama that knows when to say "that's enough" when I can't.

Praise Him for giving me a mama that knows me better than I know my self some days. 
  
The next day Mom, Ashley & Colby's mom, Sandra went with me to try my 4 favorite dresses one last time before I made my decision.  The first one I tried on was the one.  I had a completely different perspective than I did 20 hours before.   I felt at ease.  I looked and felt incredibly comfortable.  I even brought my shoes I was planning to wear to get a feel for the whole look I was going for.  I loved it.  I tried on all three other dresses from both David's & the small place in Lexington & decided I was going to sleep on it one last time.  

As I was laying in bed that night, looking through the pictures on my phone of the dresses I had tried on that day...  I looked at my facial expressions.  I saw that I looked most excited & thoroughly happy in the one.  

Made my decision.  Tried it on one more time for good measure.  Rang the wedding bell at David's.  They clapped.  I smiled.  Ordered it.  Picked it up.  Now it is eagerly waiting for a couple of minor alterations in my Mama's closet.

I am so so happy with my decision.  I cannot wait to wear it.  I cannot wait to show Sam.  

Yay for love
& gorgeous white dresses.

The one.

Currently, I am sitting on the couch with my feet propped up on three magazines that are filled with patterns, swatches, dress styles, theme ideas, planning aids and pretty pictures of glowing women and their dapper men.  Currently, I am straight jamming out to Beyonce's Love on Top.  Currently, I sit here exhausted with the overwhelming feeling of pure joy.

Ya'll, I'm ENGAGED!

 

I will never be able to look at airplanes the same again.

Sam.. aka my future HUSBAND... told me he wanted to take me on a surprise trip Saturday afternoon.  With a very nonchalant attitude, we headed west and ended up at Raleigh-Durham International Airport.  I have been wanting to go to the observation deck at RDU, for at least 3 years.  I've hinted, nudged, hinted again and nudged again for Sam to take me on a date, so I was thrilled he finally picked up on it.

We watched airplanes take off and land.  We talked about where we would fly to if we hopped on a plane today.  We talked about field mice.  We talked about the future.  We talked about nothing.  

Well, I really want to tell you the whole proposal, I do, but I do not think I can do it full justice with it written down.  I want to tell you our emotions, what was going through our heads, I want to describe the weather, and how easy that day was.  Writing it down just will not give you the full joy of the story like my high energy voice, super detailed description of everything, and my trying to find reasons to use my left hand during the whole story could.  So how about I give you a great outline.. and if you want more details, you can totally ask me.  I will never get tired of telling this story.

So anyways, we are plane watching when Sam hands me another surprise - a folded piece of a paper with a winter bucket list.  I slowly went down the bucket list, wanting to talk about every single one.  Eventually, I got down to the bottom and as I read the last item on the bucket list, I saw Sam take a knee.

In complete shock, all I could think to say is things like "Oh my word, are you serious?  Colby, is this real?  Colby Scott, this better be real."  After his sweet assurance of yes, this is real life, I lost complete control of my tear ducts.  Eventually came to & said "Oh by the way, YES, I'll marry you!". 

Then Colby continued to completely melt my heart by telling me of his intentions of what this life will look like together.  He even brought up the heavy heart I had just the day before where on social media I posted this:

 Lord Jesus, I have NO clue what my life looks after May 

but I'm trusting in you that I will be where I need to be. 

Sweet, sweet Sam ultimately told me that he didn't care that 

I didn't know where I was going after May but he wanted to go with me.

I said yes to the man that stole my heart at the young age of 15.  I said yes to the man that has continued to fearlessly pursue my heart for over 6 years.  I am so enthralled by the good, good heart of this man & I am filled with complete joy with knowing I am praising the Lord by saying yes to a life with him.

I will never, ever look at airplanes the same again.

The blondes.

 So there are these two little dudes that completely stolen my heart. I have mentioned my love for them here, here & here... oh & here & here.  Im sure there are others.. but you get the point - I adore my blondes.  They have become such a huge part of my life here in Raleigh.  Both ways the door swings, in that we all have invested so much time and emotion into getting to know each other.  I know their hearts and what a joy I find in that.  These hearts that are honest, vulnerable, loving, caring yet carefree.  These hearts that also know my own.  We pray together, play ninja and football together, sing together, eat together, eat unheard of amounts of ice cream together.  I really can't explain the fullness of my heart when I am with these boys.  

Okay, my throat has a knot in it.. let's move on.

For Christmas, I wanted to order a canvas of the boys for their mama. (PS I don't know how big/small the blogosphere is.. know if you know these fine people, don't tell Kelly her Christmas gift from the boys!)  So today, my roomie, Liza - who also keeps Will once a week, and I had a mini-photoshoot with John & Will.  Here is a sneak peek of the goodness we captured today.

Merry Christmas, Kelly.

The ones Im thankful for.

 I think the Holidays can be stressful.. but in the end - I am humbled and thankful for the stressful schedule.  I am thankful for family.  I am thankful to have both sets of my grandparents.  I am thankful for travel.  I am thankful love.  I did not get to spend much time with Sam this holiday as his family was headed to the beach to celebrate the big turkey.  But I am thankful for his understanding for me to be home.  I am thankful for him, completely - for his love, his heart for Jesus, for his blonde hair & baby blues.  I am thankful for family - for who they are, how they challenge me, and for loving me so well.

 

The day after Thanksgiving is usually one of my favorite days of the year.  During the Holidays I get to see a lot of family, which is great - I adore that time.  But the day after Thanksgiving is a day where us five get to spend pretty much the entire day together.  This day I adore also because it is always chock full of laughter, fun and pure joy.

As scheduled, we went to Reed Island Farm to get our Christmas tree.

 Ashley walked around with this dead gnat on her lip unknowingly for like 30 minutes.  I was dying.  

She has such a good sense of humor and can laugh at herself.. so I know she didn't care if I posted this.

 

 My parent's this year got each other a television for Christmas.  I know this because I was a part of the Thursday night hustle and bustle of "killer deals" (words of my mother).   We stood in line.  We got that Golden Ticket.  We went thru the drive-thru pick up.  & we did it on zero-gas.

Today, when we got back from getting our Christmas tree, we rearranged our living room furniture to set up for our new TV.  & then started to mount the TV -- which was definitely  bigger than a one-man job. 

 

We are excited but more than that, we are thankful.  Not exactly for the television.. but more for the day spent together.  What a joy we found in each other - in jokes, frustrations, happies, meals, fields of evergreens, or sweetly sitting next to each other in front of our new tube.  

I am thankful for those four souls.  & I can't help but think of some lyrics from the Avett Brothers:

...there was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name

I am thankful to share my name with these four souls.

I am thankful.

the ones without broken pots.

 

Last weekend, I had the incredible opportunity to some time in Weaverville, NC.  Weaverville is the home to one of the most gorgeous places in North Carolina.. Windy Gap, a Young Life Camp.  I can't tell you how majestic this place is.  It's like a little hidden valley within glorious surrounding mountains.   It has a giant willow tree.  It has a swing that makes your stomach drop.  It has triple layered bunk beds.  It is incredible.

So during my sweet weekend, I got to spend my time with these girls...

I love Fall Camp at Windy Gap.  We do crazy things like have flour bomb battles at ten o' clock in the morning, create human snakes in the damp, damp ground, and scream our lungs off to the new tunes.

 

 

 

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 We also get to do things that are completely perfect for the soul..  like spending time around a table, where talk is sweet and food is good.. and hearing the gospel and then spending time in circle discussing it.

 I got to catch up on old friendships and create new ones.

 I got to spend time with my own Young Life leader.

 I got to see two of my roommates completely in their element - leading high school girls to the truth.

Last weekend, I got to spend my time hearing the gospel, living the gospel, and having sweet talks with high schoolers about the gospel.  What a blessing?!

Dear Heavenly Father, 

Thank you so much for Windy Gap.  Thank you for the work crew, program and leaders that are able to make Fall Camp happen.  Thank you for Ben, who did an incredible job explaining how to find full life in You.  Thank you for replacing our broken pots with the perfect pot of Jesus.  Thank you for Surry County.  Thank you for Wake County.  Thank you for Young Life and the lives that you impact through it.

Love, Courtney